Dance in the Rain
Welcome to My Journal
My life has often felt like a raging storm. A hurricane without an end. And yet God has given me joy in the midst of it. And through the raging storms and the intermittent drizzle, I’m learning to dance in the rain. (Figuratively, of course.)
When Waiting Hurts
I went through a period of agonizing waiting, looking for signs of whether God would give me what I prayed for. Though the wait felt excruciating, God had changed me in the process.
What am I Waiting For?
I’ve never liked to wait but it’s in the waiting that I often see God most clearly and stumble on unexpected beauty when I’m willing to slow down and look for it.
Grudging Obedience and Extravagant Grace
I had been consumed with anger and bitterness towards someone who hurt me deeply and irrevocably. But as I forgave her, I was amazed at the freedom and joy it gave me.
Life Lessons from my Dog
My dog Mocha is adorable but high maintenance. He’s taught me a lot about myself, my parenting deficiencies, and how to face my fears, in a backwards way.
Are Scars Beautiful?
For decades I tried to hide my physical scars, because they were ugly and embarrassing. Now I see that scars signify our healing and help us to accept the wounds that have shaped us.
This is What it means to Be Held
Natalie Grant’s hit song Held was written by my friend Christa Wells, and the first verse was inspired by my son Paul who died at two months old.
Good Friday: Consolation from the Cross
This year, Jesus' last days have gripped me like never before. Good Friday has become more precious as I have seen new facets of the cross to be thankful for and have fallen even more in love with Jesus.
Why Doesn’t God Heal Everyone?
I left a healing service unchanged. The pastor said my faith was too weak. But in the not being healed, the crying out to God, the trusting him when it hurts, I have seen God most clearly.
Has God Forgotten to be Gracious?
When I am most discouraged, I need to look back over my life and remember God’s faithfulness to me. And as I do, I am often stunned to see all God has done in my deepest suffering.
But I Don’t Want to Forgive…
Forgiveness is hard. It often feels like death. But in the end it is more than worth it, as God unleashes His power in us in an unparalleled way.
There are more important things in life than walking
I had dinner with Joni Eareckson Tada and was struck with the beauty of her words and her life. She has taught me that surrender is an act of worship.
Me? Change the World? (maybe not today)
I was on a panel for my former MBA program. As the underachiever of the group, I decided to let my mind wander during the discussion…a big mistake.
Talking Myself Through Suffering
With post-polio, my strength is deteriorating rapidly. In my pain, I need to remind myself of seven things that put my trials in perspective…
What if I throw a party and no one comes?
I like numbers. But numbers and social media can become an all-consuming trap that falsely defines our value and blurs our focus.
Is Discerning God’s Will as simple as a green light?
To truly hear God’s voice, I need to be willing to accept whatever He says. And that requires that I listening closely.
Do I Value Sustaining Grace?
No one complained about the parting of the Red Sea. Everyone loves delivering grace. But no one is satisfied with manna, God’s sustaining grace. Yet that is the grace that tethers us to God.
When a jackhammer won’t wake your daughter
My daughter cannot wake up in the morning, even with an alarm clock as loud as a jackhammer. It’s hard to awaken her, but I persist in trying to get her up, just as God persists with me.
Finding Joy in the midst of suffering
I am convinced that our capacity for God, and for true joy, is carved out of our suffering. It is out of that chasm, that emptiness, that God alone can fill us. With Himself. With His joy.
A Word for the New Year
Every January, I select a word to symbolize the new year. I consider both where I am lacking and where God is stretching me. This year I chose a word that reflects what I want to become.