Suffering and the Upside-down Kingdom
Have you ever wondered what service most glorifies God? Have you ever considered that leaning on Jesus, trusting him in suffering, is a way to serve that expands the kingdom of God?
Trusting Jesus in Trials: the Outcomes are Up to Him
Those questions have been on my mind as I’ve been discouraged lately, realizing much of the way I once served isn’t possible anymore. Suffering, particularly recently being confined to a wheelchair, has reduced my world to being far smaller than I would have chosen. I’m envious of people who can easily get on planes, speak to large crowds, go wherever they want. Their bodies cooperate with them. Life would be so much more convenient if my body would be more cooperative. I could say ‘yes’ to more opportunities. Be more productive. Accomplish more at a lower cost. I’m sure I could offer more to the kingdom of God.
I was going down that track when I was reminded that what I accomplish is up to God. He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete whatever he has called me to (Phil 1:6). So in wanting changed circumstances, I’m not seeking to expand the kingdom of God but rather to expand my little kingdom of self. I want bigger, better, more visible. But God is calling me to smaller, limited, lesser. When I’m needy and dependent, tucked under his wing, I stay closest to him.
The Request for Honor and the Cup of Suffering
Those thoughts were swirling in my head when I was reading Matthew 20:17-28. Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem, telling his disciples that he would be mocked, beaten and put to death but would rise again on the third day. They didn’t respond. No one said a word, until the mother of James and John knelt before Jesus, asking a favor for her sons. She wanted her sons to sit at the right and left hand of Jesus in his kingdom, to hold positions of honor above everyone else, including the other disciples.
I wonder what kind of kingdom she thought her sons should be honored in. Perhaps an earthly kingdom, where everyone would be impressed by their positions. Her request reminds me of the Pharisees who Jesus criticized for taking the best place, wanting to be seen and revered by others. But here two of his closest disciples wanted the same type of recognition.
As James and John’s mother watched Jesus’ crucifixion (Matt 27:56) soon afterwards, she likely remembered her request. As she looked up and saw criminals on his right and left side, I wonder what she thought. This couldn’t have been the kingdom she’d imagined.
Jesus had answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink? (22). Jesus knew this cup meant torture and a humiliating death; it was a bitter cup of suffering. And those revered positions at Jesus’ right and left in the kingdom of heaven were decided by the Father, perhaps for those who’d endured the most agonizing pain on earth.
Jesus told the brothers they would indeed drink the cup that Jesus drank. We know both suffered for the Gospel as James was the first disciple martyred and John was the last disciple to die, exiled on the Isle of Patmos. But their sacrifice and earthly closeness to Jesus didn’t automatically give them the seats of honor.
Jesus had already singled out James, John, and Peter from the other disciples. Those three had seen God’s glory on the Mount of Transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-13) and both John and Peter would later refer to it as a defining moment in their lives. Seeing God’s glory changed them, but in this moment they were much more concerned about their own glory than God’s.
This request made the other disciples indignant. Perhaps because they wanted to ask the same question. Perhaps each one wanted to be better than the rest. Jesus told them that the greatest among them would be their servant, likely taking an obscure position that was not seen or honored by others.
Few of us want to serve without any acknowledgement or appreciation. I want approval and recognition. I chase the praise of people rather than being satisfied in God’s approval. I’m often more concerned with my kingdom than the kingdom of God.
What about you? Does the following poem by Robert Raines resonate with you as it has me? I read it in college in the book Improving Your Serve by Chuck Swindoll, and the words have stayed with me for decades.
I am like James and John, Lord
I size up other people
in terms of what they can do for me;
how they can further my program,
feed my ego,
satisfy my needs,
give me strategic advantage.
I exploit people,
ostensibly for Your sake,
bur really for my own sake.
Lord, I turn to You
to get the inside track
and obtain special favors,
Your direction for my schemes,
Your power for my projects,
Your sanction for my ambitions,
Your blank checks for whatever I want.
I am like James and John.
Transformed by God's Spirit for the Upside-Down Kingdom
In Matthew 20, James and John were pursuing their own kingdoms. They had seen God’s glory but were still consumed by their own. Yet despite their failings and frailties, Jesus’s disciples turned the world upside down by the power of the Spirit in them. They became different men.
God changes us. The Holy Spirit refocuses us. Suffering softens and reorients us. We learn dependence on God, to keep our eyes on Jesus, to recognize that the world’s praise and trappings are fleeting but the things of God last forever.
It’s easy to become overawed by famous people with big ministries and followings. But in the kingdom of heaven, those who are least will be the greatest. We don’t know who will sit on the right and left hand of Jesus but perhaps those seats are reserved by God for the least. The humble. The servants. The suffering. The overlooked. Perhaps someone in a remote village in an impoverished country, who has lived every day struggling and in pain, unknown and unseen, living by faith and not sight, will take one of those seats. Perhaps no one on earth will have heard of those on the right and left hand of Jesus except their immediate family. But one day they will have the place of honor with Jesus, and we will all know who they are. As Jesus reminded the disciples right before this interchange, “The last will be first, and the first last” (16).
Faithfulness in the Unseen
I’m not sure where you are today, but maybe God is calling you to recognize that you are expanding his kingdom right now in your obscurity, in your suffering, living by faith. And that one day in heaven, when all will be revealed, you will be rewarded and recognized for your faithfulness. Perhaps God will give you charge over much, as you hear those treasured words, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21).